Unabridged: The Chicago Live Show with Samantha Irby – Transcript

This episode of The Stacks Unabridged features audio from our Chicago show on the Live in The Stacks tour. Humorist, TV writer and author Samantha Irby joins to talk about her new book Quietly Hostile: Essays. We also discuss books we love, books we hate and Hunter Biden’s memoir. This is an edited version of the live show, so if you want more, come join us on tour! Get your tickets here.

*This episode is exclusive to members of The Stacks Pack on patreon. To join this community, get inside access to the show, and listen now, click the link below.


*Due to the nature of podcast advertising, these timestamps are not 100% accurate and will vary.

Traci Thomas 0:01
Hello hello hello and welcome to another episode of the Stacks Unabridged, which is the Stacks podcast bonus episode. These are available for members of The Stacks Pack. And if you’re not a member of the stacks pack and you want to support this podcast, you can join by going to patreon.com/thestacks. Let me tell you what you’re about to hear. You’re about to hear an edited version of our live show. In Chicago, Illinois with guest friend of the show, funniest person on the face of the earth. Samantha Irby. We talked about her brand new book Quietly Hostile. We talk about books we love and books we hate. And we talk a lot about Hunter Biden’s memoir; bet you didn’t see that coming. Anyway, I won’t talk too much more. I hope you enjoy this. And if you’re not a member of the stacks pack, patreon.com/thestacks to hear this and all of our other bonus episodes plus a whole lot of other perks. Okay, okay, I’m leaving, enjoy.

For those of you who don’t know, who were dragged here by loved ones, I’m Traci Thomas. I’m the creator and host of a podcast called The Stacks. It’s all about books. Yeah. So some of you have heard of it. I’m about to introduce our guest, her name is Samantha Irby. I have these little note cards where I read everyone’s bio, and I’m gonna read you her bio word for word. Here we go. Samantha Irby is a humorist, an essayist and the author of four essay collections. The best bio ever. So this is Samantha Irby. This is her latest book. She’s got four. They’re all here for you to buy. If you haven’t read them all. They’re also great on audio. Great on audio.

Samantha Irby 1:57
The bane of my existence, recording.

Traci Thomas 2:01
You have to put this right up to your mouth because my editor is here for the podcast. Christian will kill you. Yeah, Christian will be standing and holding it for you.

Samantha Irby 2:10
It does sound good, but it is torture for me to record because they like put you in a closet. And you just hear a guy’s voice being like you said that wrong. Go back. Start over.

Traci Thomas 2:22
What’s the word you can’t say?

Samantha Irby 2:27
Do you know how to pronounce the word t-o-u-s-l-e-d?

Traci Thomas 2:34

Samantha Irby 2:35
It’s TOW-sold.

Traci Thomas 2:37
No, it’s not.

Samantha Irby 2:38
I know! That’s what I said!

Traci Thomas 2:40
Maybe in Chicago. Not in California.

Samantha Irby 2:45
That’s what I said. That’s what I said. And then the director was like, no.

Traci Thomas 2:50
Can you be like, okay, but that’s not how I say it?

Samantha Irby 2:52
I could… I could, but he really wanted me to make sure I was correct. I was like, everybody who loves my shit is dumb. They’re not gonna know. No offense.

Traci Thomas 3:10
I’m literally fighting you to say it wrong.

Samantha Irby 3:14
I’m like, this is for stupid people. Like nobody cares.

Traci Thomas 3:19
I love it. Okay. We’re gonna- I never do this. But we’re gonna start with a reading. Samantha’s gonna read from her book. I literally never do this, but I promise you there’s a payoff to this. So go ahead and turn to page whatever the fuck and read. This is the start of the dog chapter. Right?

Speaker 2 3:39
Yeah, yeah. This is page 49. I was talking to a man- first mistake. Ugh. I mean, sorry, men. But come on.

Traci Thomas 3:53
Thank you for being here.

Speaker 2 3:54
Thanks to the six of you. Brett. No, I’m just kidding. There’s more. Reminiscing about old shit. That’s a trap. Never do it. And he said to me with the kind of brazenness only handsome people can get away with. level with me, baby. Don’t you wish we’d gotten serious back in the day and had a kid? I damn near choked on my own tongue. Excuse me, sir. What are you asking me? Do I wish that instead of talking about weed strains, you and I were instead of arguing about summer camp fees and community college applications. What is it about being comfortably ensconced in middle age deep in the cozy confines of his sweatpants in the middle of a Tuesday years? That makes a man who should be on an aspirin regimen. Say something like that to a woman who is no longer shedding eggs and endometrial lining. Is that boredom, regret to dementia. I stared slack jawed at my phone wishing it was 1998 and I had a receiver I could slam into its cradle. Just- don’t cheer yet.

Traci Thomas 5:16
Okay. I feel like you should set it up.

Samantha Irby 5:19
Okay. I have a love hate relationship with my copy editor. Quick explanation of how this goes, I turn the book in editor sent it to me, we work on it, I send it back, then they send me a copy where the copy editor puts notes in the margin. I don’t know who she is. I’ve never met her. She has edited all of my books, and we despise each other. And about that paragraph in question. The note in the margin was, I don’t think this joke is hitting the way you think it is. And I was like, Bitch, I will set your house on fire me out of your mind.

Traci Thomas 6:16
And this is the only reason I would ever let an author read from their book. It’s the petty we had to get to the petty and all of that. But the joke hit yes. They were laughing. Yes, but I would okay, but if it didn’t hit, would you all have told us? Yeah, I don’t believe you people. You are me liars. These are my people. I would they would tell you Okay, okay, so we think and so should we send the copy out or like just like a video of us being like, you’re wrong leaves Amantha allowed?

Samantha Irby 6:45
Oh, no, I put a note back in the margin to her. I was like, Hey, babe, let the plumber fix this thing. Okay. You tell me when I miss use a semicolon. Don’t tell me about no fucking jokes.

Traci Thomas 7:05
Are you kidding? This is book number four. I’ve gotten away with it on Meaty.

Samantha Irby 7:12
But she keeps coming back. I don’t maybe she’s the only one they have.

Traci Thomas 7:19
Pretty sure the only one willing to work with you. Oh, Michelle, you drew the short straw again. Gotta do Samantha’s book. Funny jokes. Okay. Wait. So last time we talked? For those of you who don’t listen to the show. Now you’re subscribed. But Sam and I talked, we recorded the episode, I think around March 25 2020. Yeah. It was when Wow, No, Thank You is coming out.

Samantha Irby 7:50
It’s our fault. COVID.

Traci Thomas 7:53
No, do you remember the whole first like 10 minutes of the episode is just us being like, I have my my twins who are now three, almost four. They were three months old. So I’m on the phone, Zuma, Samantha just being like, I’m so glad to be talking to an adult. And thank you so much for doing the show. And I’ve just, I don’t have any questions. I just like, can you say words to me? And you’re like, I keep calling my friends and nobody’s answering. And now here we are like a long time later. Finally. We survived. We all survived. And when we talked last we talked about how much we loved many diet coke. So obviously not not a sponsor, but if you work for Coke, I would take a sponsorship.

Samantha Irby 8:42
I can’t get a sponsorship for shit. That is the one thing about like doing the work and the way I do it is they’re like, No, we tried. We tried to get a like a partnership with Charmin because I have done so much free publicity because Charlaine Charmin Ultra strong is the best. And they were like, Oh, that’s so cute. No. And I was like, oh,

Traci Thomas 9:13
maybe you should put the Charmin bear on the cover of your next book.

Samantha Irby 9:17
I was trying to be the sharpest. I’ve rubbed my ass on a tree.

Traci Thomas 9:24
I’m not gonna make it through the night. Oh, well, Lisa, when we talked last time. You were saying that for Wow. No, thank you. Your editor was like there’s not that much sexy stuff in the book. And you said to me, I hope to write more sexy stuff soon. And then this book came out who’s read it and there’s a chapter on nuns. Sexy nuns.

Samantha Irby 9:52
Hot, old nuns.

Traci Thomas 9:54
Was that a response to your editor?

Samantha Irby 9:56
Yeah so, I have a few boxes to tick off with each book. Like there has to be a shit thing. There has to be some sort of like, my body is falling apart, asked to be like, you know, awkward in public and then I have to write about some like, mundane thing I like, so and sex was one of the things so I was like, well, I’ll just describe this porn I like watching. And it was, it turned out pretty good.

Traci Thomas 10:31
It’s like the longest essay in the book, too. It’s that and like the Dave Matthews Band are the two longest ones.

Samantha Irby 10:37
I know. That porn is good, though. I bet many people have watched it.

Traci Thomas 10:41
I haven’t, but I have thought about it. And I am still alive. And I still can; I’m still able.

Samantha Irby 10:48
I’ll send it to you.

Traci Thomas 10:48
And I will link to it on my show notes. As well as in my story. So please follow me on Instagram at thestackspod. Well, we’ll get this we’re gonna share it. We’re gonna get these ladies their residuals. Support writers. Oh, yeah. You’re striking. Are you striking?

Samantha Irby 11:07

Traci Thomas 11:07
I’m SAG. So I’m striking. This show is not SAG. It’s not breaking a picket line.

Samantha Irby 11:13
What’s crazy was that oh, these lights-

Traci Thomas 11:18
Nice. We look okay in this light. Okay, I like this. I just don’t want to be pink because in Oakland, everything was pink because was Barbie week and had a Barbie chair. I have Barbie pants and all the pictures. I’m like hot pink in my face. I was like, don’t ever put pink on me again. I pink used to be my favorite color. And now here I am in black. Yeah, we had to break up. Sorry. Anyways.

Samantha Irby 11:40
I didn’t have a job when the strike started. So it was very easy for me to strike. I was like, keep doing nothing. Okay. But yeah, I’ve been on strike. I, you know, I got a residual check for like $37 once. And I was like, this is almost not worth the paper, you send it to me on. So I’m hoping we get a better deal. But I’m not optimistic. Like, you know, we’re gonna get some bullshit deal, because that’s what happens.

Traci Thomas 12:17
Yeah, well I don’t know.

Samantha Irby 12:18
I mean, I pretend to be okay with it.

Traci Thomas 12:21
You know, I live in LA. And so this is all we talk about in LA is the strike. And it sounds like they’re running out of content faster than they thought they were running. They when the strike started. They’re like, we could go 75 years and never repeat a show. And now they’re like, so we have till November. And then we have to start doing the weird stuff, like putting the weird stuff out. So I’m hopeful that they run out of stuff. And it’s just like, all Grey’s Anatomy all day, because that’s my favorite show. And I’m happy to watch that as many times as possible. But that’s a network show. Yeah, it’s real residual old school. Not a stream.

Samantha Irby 12:54
Yeah, that’s, I mean, that’s how Shonda is so rich. Can I tell you one time I had a meeting at Shondaland. Not with Shonda.

Traci Thomas 13:03
With Betsy Beers? Betsy is Shonda’s second in command. She used to take my class. I used teach spin and she used to take my class. Betsy Beers. I said I was like Oprah, but Oprah doesn’t teach spin. Yeah, so fucking LA, right.

Samantha Irby 13:20
Shonda had a person who just their whole job was to hold her purse. And I was like, now that bitch is rich. You pay somebody just to stand there holding your purse.

Traci Thomas 13:35
I don’t know where my purse is currently right now. Like it could literally you look under your chair. You might. That actually happened.

Samantha Irby 13:48
It was very intimate. I was like, whatever they’re trying to prove on God. Yeah. Just powerful. You didn’t get the job? Oh, no, I did. Actually fuck her.

Traci Thomas 13:58
Yeah. And I heard Shonda was a bitch anyway, so no, but we did read Year of Yes on the stacks book club in our first ever year.

Samantha Irby 14:08
How was it? Inspiring?

Traci Thomas 14:13
You know? It’s actually it’s better than I thought.

Samantha Irby 14:20
But what did you think? Going in?

Traci Thomas 14:23
As you know, I didn’t think a lot. I go into every book the same, which is I’m gonna hate this one. Is it over? And then I’m like, changed my mind. It’s a very, it’s very confrontational. Every time I pick up a book, I’m like, This is the worst book I’ve ever read. But no, it was better than I thought she is. She had a good ghostwriter, I guess or maybe she wrote it. She’s a TV writer. I don’t know. It wasn’t horrible. Like it was legible. It followed through.

Samantha Irby 14:48
Somebody says to me, Hey, your book was legible. I would kill myself right in front of them alters the trajectory of the rest of their life.

Traci Thomas 14:58
I was better. It’s definitely not the worst book we’ve done on Book Club by a longshot. We should maybe we should transition to three books we hate while we’re here. I’ll do three books that we’ve done on the podcast book club that I hate. Oh, yeah. Okay, so number one, the most hated book we ever did on the show for me personally is a book called new boy by Tracy Shavon. Lea, did any of you read it? It’s horrible. We you Henny went back and listened read every book we’ve ever done. And it’s really fucking about it’s a modern day retelling of Othello. And if you know, I love Shakespeare, so I was and it’s set in a school so I was like, oh my god, this is my shit. They’re gonna be like, fucking teenagers. It’s gonna be like a fellow or like the movie. Oh, you guys saw that? Yes, no, that’s a jam. It sat in elementary school. And like bitch, Othello was a warrior king. He was like, mist. Like he was fighting in wars, and fucking Desdemona. And like, Yaga was the homie. And now this book is like, he pushed her off the play structure legitimately. Spoiler alert. That’s the like, death is like, I think he jumps off the place structure. He that’s how he kills himself at the end. It is, it’s so bad. It’s actually unbelievable that it happened. Like, it’s not that. And I went into it being like, Oh, my God, and my friend Bella Lavelle, who’s an actress. She did the episode with me. We went to NYU together, we studied Shakespeare together. We were Why don’t we take this? Because we love Shakespeare and Bella picked it. It was like, it was like the fourth book we ever did on the show. I didn’t know the fuck I was doing. I was like, I’m gonna start a show about books. And I made all my friends come on. She was like the third Friday. And it was so bad. So that’s when I hated God, what else did I hate? We did the Four Agreements. i If you love that book, and it changed your life, when you read it when you were like 22 Good for you. And I’m glad that you’re like a person of your word or whatever. But that book is an unbelievably horrible advice. It’s like if someone punches you in the face, you need to accept that because maybe you deserved it. It’s like, it’s like it’s like that’s what I can’t remember the agreements.

Samantha Irby 17:17

Traci Thomas 17:22
I just say it okay, I’m trying to build a brand right now. I’m not trying to have a torn down by Sharon Sherman bear over here.

Samantha Irby 17:28
I will- I’ll destroy my own. Yeah, I guess Yeah. If you get punched in the face, you probably deserve.

Traci Thomas 17:36
I can’t remember what else I’ve I’ve hated so many books helped me. What else did we hate? The guy that faked like he was a border agent. Oh, but we didn’t do that for book club. But I do hate that book. The book is called the line becomes a river. And it came out in 2018, I think by this guy named Francisco con two, and he’s half Mexican, half white. And he’s a writer. And he got a job as a border patrol agent, essentially, just to write the book. Oh, god, yeah. It wasn’t like, oh, I have this job. And I’m a writer. It was like, I wanted to know what it would be like, and then it’s full, like white savior, but he’s also Mexican. So he’s like trying, then afterwards, he like gets a job at a cafe that’s owned by a Mexican guy. It’s like try it so 2018 and that way where you’re just like, we were just publishing that like the response. So those are three books I hate how about you?

Samantha Irby 18:33
I don’t ever read things that I hate. Because like life is short and hard. But I will say like, I’ve read some books that I’m like, Oh, this is what y’all are going crazy over Sally Rooney. Like what is it? I mean, maybe like you have to be white to get it?

Traci Thomas 18:55
You have to be from Ireland. And named Sally.

Samantha Irby 19:02
Okay. The show was hot because Paul Mezcal is hot. right conversations with friends. I didn’t not know I don’t-

Traci Thomas 19:16
I don’t have friends. I don’t know what that’s about. What does that mean?

Samantha Irby 19:20
I don’t get it. I don’t think there’s anything I straight up. Hated. No, I really well put a book the fuck down. I don’t care.

Traci Thomas 19:28
We should do at least a few books we love since that was a question for you. We love to relate. Hey, that’s like kind of I mean any of them all of them cheat.

Samantha Irby 19:39
They’re all the same.

Traci Thomas 19:43
Well, you you know who you turned me on to is Mary HK Choi.

Samantha Irby 19:47
Love her if you are all for both. Emergency Contacts.

Traci Thomas 19:52
Permanent record and Yolk. Yolk is my favorite. The most recent one Yolk is the best to me. But she’s got an adult one coming Oh, yeah, I think it’s called like milk teeth. But she said that when she did the show, she told me about it. She writes like teenagers who loves snacks and like, hook up and are cool and angsty but not totally unrelatable to adults. Yeah, but also I feel like kids think they’re cool too. She’s she’s very cool.

Samantha Irby 20:19
She’s the coolest Do you want and I’m older than you are. But do you remember that old magazine Miss behave? No. or Miss Miss?

Traci Thomas 20:27
I remember Miss. Isn’t that like, just miss or No,

Samantha Irby 20:29
Yeah, but she had this cool one called like, Miss pave. And she was the editor in chief. And I was like, Damn, she’s so cool. Mary was yeah,

Traci Thomas 20:37
I didn’t know that. Yeah, she’s very cool. We’re very pro Mary here. So we love Mary. Love Mary.

Samantha Irby 20:44
I still really love Stephen King. Like I really love that dude. is incredible. He knows how to fucking set a scene.

Traci Thomas 20:57
I’ve never read any Stephen King.

Samantha Irby 21:03
Oh, you don’t like fiction?

Traci Thomas 21:05
I don’t like scary. So that’s the one that I want to read. That’s the JFK reimagining because I’ve actually read you know, Vincent Bugliosi, the guy who wrote Helter Skelter. His like second turn in life was like researching the JFK assassination tree. Yeah, he wrote, he wrote like an 1000 page book on it, which I read. There’s also a 400 page version of it that’s shorter that I also read. And I should have just read that one. Yeah. Because the 1000 I’m like, What are we doing here? But so I do want to read this even king but that one’s also like 1000 pages, right? It goes by fast. Okay, okay.

Samantha Irby 21:44
He’s an incredible storyteller. Okay.

Traci Thomas 21:47
Ok, I’ll do it.

Samantha Irby 21:48
Obviously something’s demented in him. Yeah, writing these things, which I love.

Traci Thomas 21:53
You love what you do. Um, speaking of things you love in the first essay in the book you talk about I like it. it’s like Montra you like to talk when people are shitting on things you like, say I like it. Yeah, here’s my problem. I’m such a Grade A hater. It’s so hard for me to be like, I like it. So do you have any advice for me? Because I hate everything.

Samantha Irby 22:14
Okay. Here’s the thing. You don’t have to like if I’m the hating us hater that ever lived. I hate everything. But the things I do, like I will defend to the death. So like, let me think of something dumb. I like Real Housewives of New York. If I was like, damn, did you see that episode? Just Oh was blah, blah, blah. And you were like, Why do you watch that? I’d be like, I like it. And then just sit and watch. Like, what are you gonna say? No, you don’t? If you try to defend the thing, there’s always like an argument, right? Like they can wiggle in there and make you feel like shit. But if you’re just like, I love that shit. What am I gonna say?

Traci Thomas 23:01
Okay, okay, I can’t do that. Because I have some weird takes. But a lot of you don’t have to lie about shit.

Samantha Irby 23:07
You don’t. Right.

Traci Thomas 23:08
I just have to just aggressively be like, I like it. Yeah, I like it. I like it, you guys.

Samantha Irby 23:16
It’s very freeing. And it works.

Traci Thomas 23:20
Ok I’m gonna try it. Have any of you tried it? But I like it doesn’t work.

Samantha Irby 23:25
It shuts people right the fuck up. Which is like my number one goal. When somebody’s aggravating me like, shut the fuck. So that’s a nice way of saying Shut the fuck up.

Traci Thomas 23:40
Okay, I like it. Yeah. I have a serious question about writing. Yeah. Writing Process. It’s actually about reading. But it’s alright. When you are observing the world, and you’re thinking about things to write about when we talked before you said you can only write an essay, when you know the ending, you have to know the end of the essay, then you can do your thing. Do my I guess my question is do you revisit essays you’ve written in the past? No, never. Never. So do you ever find out that you’ve written a thing that you’ve already written? Like? How do you know because I forget everything that I do. Editor, your editor. So it’s the same editor? Yeah, yeah. That’s your new editor. Your copy editor would go. We’ve had read that already. Yeah, they

Samantha Irby 24:27
I am a like, repeater of like jokes or phrases. And so they catch those. But if I ever like had written about anything before, Maria, my editor would would she knows she knows my stuff like encyclopedic. She has an encyclopedic knowledge of everything I’ve said. Related i So this quietly hostile is the first in a three book deal and they would only get Give me like, big money for two books, and then little money for the third. So I was like, well, for the little money, y’all aren’t getting a bunch of new material. So I’m gonna reread and take things from my old blog if anybody ever read, but she’s got to eat. And then I’m gonna like be in conversation.

Traci Thomas 25:26
You’ll add, yes, yeah. Okay, so this is my second part of the question. How do you feel like your stuff holds up? Really? Well. Not how do you feel? Now?

Samantha Irby 25:37
How do you feel- you want to come home with me after this?

Traci Thomas 25:40
I’m just, I think a lot about like, like, when people go back and listen to the old episodes of the stacks, sometimes I’m very embarrassed, even if they like it. Like, I’m like, Oh, I said crazy things on that which I still stand by, like, I know that my opinions changed. It’s that maybe now I would say it differently or something. So how do you feel like you’re-

Samantha Irby 26:00
I mean, I, I am humiliated by everything I’ve ever written like this. But like, as soon as it’s out in the world, I’m like, Oh, I could have been better. I think the way I’ve chosen to look at it is like, I’m evolving. I’m always changing. I’m aging, things are a little different. So I tried to not be as hard on myself, I think. I think it holds up because primarily, like, the work just needs to be funny. Like, I’m not trying to teach anybody anything. And so I feel like, I know lessons here. People know.

Traci Thomas 26:42
And I can know that’s a lesson I’m learning.

Samantha Irby 26:45
That’s a little tiny lesson. But I read in my old stuff. I’m like, who wrote that? You know, I’m like what was on my fucking mind? As we come out 2013 some 10 years or 10 years ago. Happy anniversary. This is Rena, reading it now I’m like, Oh, well, but I don’t really I just like even flipping through it. If somebody gives me a copy to sign and they’re like, look at the notes I put on page 20. I’m like, I can’t here’s your signature.

Traci Thomas 27:27
Is there anything that’s not in this book that you wish was?

Samantha Irby 27:31
Well, yes, I I’m notoriously late turning my things in. The galley is missing an essay. You didn’t get to read my QVC I say

Traci Thomas 27:44
I’ll send on audios. I didn’t know I did get. I had six questions about QVC for tonight. And then I was like, I can’t do every assay.

Samantha Irby 27:54
Okay. Um, I, I started going to therapy during the pandemic. And then I got a psychiatrist. Oh, I love that you’re laughing already. I started writing this essay called a tight 60. Okay, in comedy, like, if you’re going like to do open mic or whatever, they’ll be like, give me a tight five, and then you’re off. And so I noticed that all I was doing during my therapy sessions was trying to make the therapists laugh. And it truly is, like 60 minutes of me being like, shut up.

Traci Thomas 28:41
They call you on that?

Samantha Irby 28:43
No. they’re just laughing. That’s why I mean-

Traci Thomas 28:49
It’s your copy editor. What?

Samantha Irby 28:55
It’s like, Sorry, I gotta be at my secret other job. But at but my psychiatrists is very serious. And I really try to get her going. And know she did finally tell me her dog’s name, which I don’t remember. But she will not tell me anything about herself. She won’t give me anything to go on. But she did diagnosed me as having OCD. And I really wanted to write about that. And like how it manifests in me because I was like, Oh, that’s not what I have. Like, I don’t wash my hands a lot. And she’s like, well, stupid. All this other shit you do is OCI and I was like, oh, okay, cool, but I didn’t have a handle on it. And like you said, I can’t write a thing if I don’t know the ending. So I didn’t I started I started but it’ll be in book two.

Traci Thomas 29:50
Yeah Okay, cuz your pre orders in one essay.

Samantha Irby 29:54
You want to hear about my 350 milligrams of Zoloft. Big on a lotta Zoloft everybody. I can’t it doesn’t work, but I take it. This is like a fiber supplement for my brain, but it doesn’t work.

Traci Thomas 30:11
Speaking of fiber supplements and Red Lobster and Cheesecake Factory How come? This is a bad question, but it is a super serious question. And this is what came up as I was reading this book. How come America has not come together politically over our loves of these restaurants?

Samantha Irby 30:32
Because there are snobs among us who feel like the only good food is like tweezer food with like, my grow herbs on it or whatever. And they will never cop to a fast casual. I don’t even know I don’t know. Red Lobster is a dress up with their feet. But I don’t know. So yeah, I was qualified but like snobs like but I’m not themselves foodie.

Traci Thomas 31:02
Okay, I am a snob. I don’t say foodie, because I know that’s embarrassing. But I also love cheesecake factory. And I feel like I could go into any room in America with anyone have any political belief. And I feel like we could talk about what’s the best cheesecake flavor at Cheesecake Factory. And I feel like that’s what Joe Biden should be out there campaigning on, you know, like, you want health care? Sure, honestly, we all do. What do you think of the snickers cheesecake? Like what’s your like? Are you in or out on chitter chatter bisquettes Cheddar tribe this guy, you know, like, I feel like there’s a missed opportunity to be engaging around shared interests instead of trying to force shared interests. Like we don’t agree on books. Okay, Ron DeSantis and I don’t agree on books. I don’t agree on him with anything. But what if I found out that he liked the original flavor cheesecake like I do?

Samantha Irby 31:52
No, no.

Traci Thomas 31:54
He that I said it was a bad question, but I use literally what came up as I read it. I’m like, No, it’s all America. We can fix it. We can fix it.

Samantha Irby 32:01
Yes, I do believe that. I don’t believe anything he said would make you be like him out and then be fixed. You know, probably likes red lobster and shit. Is that Hunter Biden? That dad knows how to party. Yeah. Okay. Wait. Speaking books. Speaking of books that I love. I read Hunter Biden’s memoir. No, for real. It’s so good.

Traci Thomas 32:41
It’s so is it good or bad?

Samantha Irby 32:44
No, it’s good. Good. Okay. And I cried several times. Oh, am like you will come away from it thinking that Joe Biden is the nicest dad on Earth. He’s such a nice, like his love for his raggedy crackhead son is unbelievable.

Traci Thomas 33:07
You think he loves his son enough to do outside dealings with Ukraine? Like can we crack the case right now?

Samantha Irby 33:13
I mean, probably, honestly.

Traci Thomas 33:15
If I was the fucking President or Vice President, let me just say it right the fuck now. So you guys can not have to do an investigation and save your taxpayer dollars. I am 1,000% wheeling and dealing with my two fucking bad kids to do whatever the fuck they want. Yes, I want you in the room. I will shake your hands. I will kiss a baby. And I want that. I’m the president and I want this for you. Yeah. Bottom line.

Samantha Irby 33:39
He’s like his one son left. I don’t give a fuck. What are you doing? Yeah, he can. Let me tell you like the I love the most about the book. Okay, here’s an old story book we love. Here’s the old story that relates one one time, Kirsten and I like early, early. When we started dating. We’re in the car. And we saw what I like to refer to as like a drug couple. And y’all know what I’m talking about? When you see two people together? And you’re like, the fuck do they know each other? Like if you see a young white woman like in shorts and flip flops, with the oldest black dude on and it’s like, how did y’all meet two drugs together. So I said, I said to Kirsten, I was like, how do you think those people know each other? They were coming out of a church. I was like, how do you think they know each other? And she was like, Oh, they probably like volunteer at the church. And I busted out laughing and was like, Have you heard of crack or fentanyl or whatever they’re doing now? So in hunters book, he was in a crack couple. He found This little black lady was living on the street. And he brought her into his house and made like, lived together. I love that shit.

Traci Thomas 35:11
I was like, I like it.

Samantha Irby 35:13
Give me more of that. Give me more of it. He’s very interesting. Y’all should read it.

Traci Thomas 35:19
Okay, please order your copy from semicolon books on your way out the door. I’m supposed to be judging this prize this year. And I’m supposed to only be reading books that came out this year, but it didn’t come out this year today. Oh, okay, well, I’m gonna stick to the LA Times to come down for as I leave me alone for a week, I have some things I need to do. So good.

Samantha Irby 35:39
I’m sorry. I’m sorry to be up here. reppin for big content, but nothing was good.

Traci Thomas 35:48
Um, is there any part of this book that you particularly like? Like any part that you’re just like, this is the best show I’ve ever done?

Samantha Irby 35:54
Well, the cute I’m very proud of the QVC spec, say, but I think maybe the most proud. I am is of the I tried to make a TV show out of my meeting and flipped around for like seven years. Sorry. No, you can laugh. It’s funny. But then I wrote, I couldn’t put I wanted to just put the script in the book so people could see what I’d written. And Viacom still owns that script. And they are like, no bitch. So I instead like wrote, kinda like wrote it like a story. And then interspersed it with like, what casting someone who’s gonna play you feels like and like, how they make dog shit on a TV show. Melted protein bars, like the nutty ones. That’s what they that is what they do. Blow Dryer I got to watch. It was incredible. So that felt good. If only because it’ll stop people from asking me when my shows coming out. You’ll be like, Oh, by the book. Yeah, never. It’s a twofer. Literally, it’s never happened. But you can read what you missed.

Traci Thomas 37:18
What you’re missing. Yeah. A bunch of people filled out these little cards. They asked us for book recommendations. We’re gonna just do it on the fly. Okay, here we go. I’ll read it. No, I don’t have an answer. Okay. They’re looking for speculative fiction or spot on commentary. Books. They love our dune. Oh, allow me to retort I like that. Books. They hate anything that’s poorly written or mythical history.

Samantha Irby 37:47
And don’t read my books. The mythical history is like over the top.

Traci Thomas 37:54
And they want Oh, they would like humans to be better and they want it to be fiction. Fuck. Who says this? Raise your hands who did this? That yo, okay, um, speculative fiction or spot on commentary. And you want humans to be okay. This is nonfiction but this is spot on commentary. Our Eric Thomas’s new book, congratulations. The best is over he. It’s funny. It’ll make you feel good about humans. It’s got some grief in this book because he his father in law died. So it’s talking about a lot of that stuff. So much heart but like really good jokes. So great. So great. It’s called congratulations. The best is over. And his name is are Eric Thomas. And if you want to hear him on the stocks he was also on in 2020 is a great interview.

Samantha Irby 38:42
If you’re looking for fiction. The thing I’ve read lately that has the most like pression commentary Did you read yellow face?

Traci Thomas 38:52
Okay, but I did not like it.

Samantha Irby 38:54
I didn’t either. Okay, but it did. Oh, I mean, sorry, everyone. I feel like we’re supposed to like it. But like what was that bitches problem? Come on.

Traci Thomas 39:06
Well for me, it was a short story. It was too long. Yeah. Would have been it just it could have been an insane short story.

Samantha Irby 39:12
The ending was unsatisfying. Yeah. But it has good social it has good social commentary. Get it from the blood library.

Traci Thomas 39:19
I agree. I agree with that. Okay. This person wants propulsive and fast paced books. They like Fall and Rise the story of 911 and we were once a family. This is my shirt. This is very much. Okay. Get off by Thank you. And books you hate big summer. I don’t know what that is. Not that who said this? Who says this? What’s big summer? Romance? No, no. Thank you. That’s why you listen to the show. And that’s why she’s here. Yeah, she’s here for me, not you.

Samantha Irby 39:59
Good. My shit is dark. Just kidding.

Traci Thomas 40:05
It’s, it’s not at all. Okay, did you read the oral history of 911? Did you like it? Okay, did you read okay homegrown this Timothy McVeigh book that’s coming out very very good. What else is dark and fast paced? Have you read Helter Skelter? Okay, have you read I this is a problem with doing book wrecks with people who have you read the good soldier by David Finkel I think is his name it’s about Afghan the Afghanistan war and it’s about like a group of soldiers that commit a war crime nonfiction. Yeah, it’s really good. Like the good soldiers. That’s a pretty that’s a book I read long before the stacks, so it’s one that I can pull up.

Samantha Irby 40:49
I would never read anything like that. But if you want, like literally like life is so short. It’s so hard being alive. I would never fucking touch that.

Traci Thomas 41:05
I like it.

Samantha Irby 41:09
I respect it. It’s so smart. Like people will read from like that. I’m like, damn, are you a genius?

Traci Thomas 41:16
This is like sad girl, I just am like I want to feel.

Samantha Irby 41:19
But if you want some propulsive fiction, my girl Louisa Luna, I’m a big fan of thrillers. They get a lot of like shit, but they’re so good. Louisa Luna has a series of books about our female detective named lil What is her name? Atlas Vega, something like that. Anyway, all of her books are incredible. Two girls down is my favorite. It’s about little kids getting kidnapped.

Traci Thomas 41:53
Yes. Sounds beautiful. Sounds very-

Samantha Irby 41:59
Very dark, by drug people. By Hunter Biden. And that little crackhead lady.

Traci Thomas 42:09
And his live-in girlfriend.

Samantha Irby 42:12
I really wish they would have fucked I kept waiting. I kept waiting for him to be like, and then one cold night. As we lit our pipe, we heated ourselves by the white of our pie. I was I was like, Is this a romance? Sorry to spoil for you eat does not knock her but dammit.

Traci Thomas 42:37
I was really hoping for it. Okay, we’re gonna take a selfie. Mice selfie stick. Thank you guys. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Wait, Mark. Mark, I’m singling you out. Mark has never listened to the show. He was driven here by his partner from Toronto. Are you going to listen to the show now? Yes or no? Okay. Okay, get out of here. You guys. Thank you so much. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you.

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