WorkParty: How to Create & Cultivate the Career of Your Dreams by Jaclyn Johnson

The Stacks received WorkParty from the publisher. For more information click here

WorkParty is not the kind of book I would normally pick up. Mostly because I am judgmental and had decided I do not like books aimed at women kicking butt in the workplace. We all have the kind of books we assume just aren’t for us, and this self-help meets professional advice genre just didn’t feel like me. I am so grateful to The Stacks podcast, because I get exposed to books I would never normally pick up if it weren’t for my amazing guests! Which is how WorkParty found its way into my life, and I’m so glad it did.

Jaclyn Johnson (of Create & Cultivate fame) knows her stuff. She is a smart woman with a lot of insight and a very clear voice and point of view. I didn’t always like her writing style (a little too casual and filled with hashtags and pop culture references), but I appreciated much of what she had to say. She has great advice, like reminding people to be a pleasure to work with, that we are our reputations, and that we need to lift up other women if we want to see more women in c-suites. She’s not rewriting the business world, but she is making it more approachable and accessible for young female entrepreneurs.

Johnson is smart enough to know that she doesn’t have all the answers, she enlists the help of several other women entrepreneurs who are successful and visionary to share their two cents. The women she speaks with are the founders of mega-successful companies like Ban.do, Away, Drybar, Blavity, and more. These women all get a chance to share some insights at the end of the book. This section might have been more effected sprinkled throughout the book, but nevertheless, it is a nice way to hear some of the same things from different voices.

One place Johnson could have elevated WorkParty was by choosing to be more intersectional in her approach. She doesn’t address the added pressures or stress that women who are “other” might experience. She has centered her own story so much she doesn’t leave room to discuss Black and Brown women, people who are gender non-conforming, women who have disabilities, women who come from lower socio-economic groups and all the hurdles that these communities have to overcome just to get a seat at the table. Sure this book is for all women, but until we recognize our differing challenges and struggles we can not be truly inclusive and supportive of one another.

Overall I was surprised in the best ways by this book. There is certainly advice I will take with me as I grow as a business woman running The Stacks. I wonder if this book will age well, or it is a good thing I read it so close to its release in 2018. Will we look to WorkParty as an important text for women in the workplace in 2028, or will the tone and hashtags and flip approach feel dated to the late 2010’s?

If you’re looking for more on WorkParty you can hear our conversation with Calli Cholodenko (Something Social) on The Stacks Book Club from July 31st.

Ep.70 WorkParty by Jaclyn Johnson — The Stacks Book Club (Calli Cholodenko)

If you’ve read this book I’d love to hear your thoughts, share them in the comments below.

  • Hardcover: 256
  • PublisherGallery Books; Reprint edition (March 5, 2019)
  • 3/5 stars
  • Buy WorkParty Amazon or IndieBound

To contribute to The Stacks, join The Stacks Pack, and get exclusive perks, check out our Patreon page (https://www.patreon.com/thestacks). We are beyond grateful for anything you’re able to give to support the production of The Stacks.

The Stacks participates in affiliate programs in which we receive a small commission when products are purchased through some links on this website. This does not effect opinions on books and products. For more information click here.

The Unwinding of the Miracle: A Memoir of Life, Death, and Everything That Comes After by Julie Yip-Williams

In her memoir about living with her colon cancer diagnosis and coming to terms with her pending death, Julie Yip-Williams opens herself up to her reader to share her rage, fears, jealousy, and grace. She writes this book with a sense of humor and a commitment to honesty in all its many complexities.

The Unwinding of the Miracle is approachable and human. Yip-Williams presents the many parts of her life, both before cancer as a child in Vietnam and her final months as a mother of two dying from colon cancer, as though she is just reflecting in a journal. She is candid and vulnerable, it is almost as if she forgets there reader is there.

I didn’t cry when I read this book, which comes a bit of a shock to me, because I thought for sure in a memoir about coping with your pending death I would feel the need to cry. I didn’t. I felt bonded to Julie, and of course her story is sad and unfair and painful, but she takes her reader on a journey, where we too feel as though we can accept this terrible diagnosis. That our friend Julie is getting to die in a way that she is okay with. That we too can live our lives with a little more grace. And that we too can get big mad when it comes to slutty-second wives and birthday parties we’ll never get to attend.

While I found Yip-Williams life to be fascinating. I did not connect with her story as much pre-cancer. Perhaps because I knew where it was going, I didn’t really feel like I needed to take much stock in where she had been. For me, that wasn’t the interesting stuff. I was much more compelled with her navigating her own death. I was enthralled with her love for her children. I was moved by her honesty about the challenges that this type of diagnosis can add to a marriage. These sections are what will stick with me most when I think back on The Unwinding of the Miracle.

What is special about what Yip-Willaims has done, is that she asks her reader to reflect on their own lives, their own hopes and fears, without ever once actually asking the reader to do so. She presents her life and hopes that in learning more about her, we will take the time to get to know ourselves more intimately. Especially, while we still have time to live the lives we want, and be the person we’d always hoped we’d be. She leaves her readers with that gift, even in her death.

If you have read this book, I would love to hear your thoughts in the comments, and if you’re looking for a much more in depth reflection on this book, hear our conversation of The Unwinding of the Miracle as part of The Stacks Book Club with author Lori Gottlieb.

Ep.64 The Unwinding of the Miracle by Julie Yip-Williams — The Stacks Book Club (Lori Gottlieb)

  • Hardcover: 336
  • PublisherRandom House (February 5, 2019)
  • 3/5 stars
  • Buy The Unwinding of the Miracle Amazon or IndieBound

To contribute to The Stacks, join The Stacks Pack, and get exclusive perks, check out our Patreon page (https://www.patreon.com/thestacks). We are beyond grateful for anything you’re able to give to support the production of The Stacks.

The Stacks participates in affiliate programs in which we receive a small commission when products are purchased through some links on this website. This does not effect opinions on books and products. For more information click here.

Beloved by Toni Morrison

Beloved is perhaps the most critically acclaimed book written by one of the most prolific and celebrated authors. It is the story of a woman, Sethe, who escaped slavery, only to be haunted by her past life both on and off the plantation. The book is parts historical fiction and part surreal ghost story. The book has been turned into a film, won a Pulitzer Prize, and continues to be assigned in schools across the country. When we talk about the “great American novel” Beloved makes the list.

There is something funny that happens to books when they’re proceeded with superlatives, they become untouchable and intimidating. A fear creeps in, that the reader won’t understand or appreciate the book, and often that can start long before the reader ever starts reading. That was the case for me when I picked up Beloved for the first time as part of The Stacks Book Club. I was so nervous and intimidated by the book and what I might think of it. Would I “get” it? Would I like it? Would I be moved as so many others had been?

The truth is, my answer was mostly, no. I didn’t really “get” it, I didn’t really like it, and while I was moved by specific scenes and passages, I wasn’t over come by this book. And the more I think about that, the more I think thats allowed.

As I read Beloved I appreciated the skill and mastery of Ms. Morrison. I was impressed by her ability to create layer after layer of meaning in her story. Her ability to write nuance is unmatched in my reading, she understanding of how pain manifests itself in people is art in itself. I read Beloved and understood what makes both Ms. Morrison and the book so great, though I personally was never personally overcome. What I’m learning, especially when it comes to great work, is that both things can be true and live together. There are both technical and emotional components to any good piece of art, and you can appreciate one even if the other doesn’t resonate. These things are not mutually exclusive.

Of all the themes in Beloved, the idea of generational trauma, is what spoke to me most. Morrison connects the years of suffering under chattel slavery to the everyday manifestations of trauma on her characters. She creates characters that are complete with confidence and crazy, which is so very human. Your heart aches for the women in this story, their fear, pain, and rage is deserved, and Morrison never lets you forget that. Weather she is recounting events from years ago or writing dialogue, the trauma in this story is never far from view. It haunts the world of the book.

The book moves between points of view and events without much set up, the years skip around, and sometimes its hard to know exactly where you are in the story. This was challenging for me to connect with, though on a second or third reading, I think this complexity would add so much to my enjoyment of the book. Like in a good scary movie or thriller, Morrison is leaving us Easter eggs to pick up on, only when we’re revisit her novel.

There is a lot to unpack and look into when talking about Beloved it is not an easy read, and the subject matter is not comfortable. This book requires a commitment of the reader. The expectation of greatness from her reader is partly what makes her books so good. Toni Morrison demands you bring your full self to her work, and that you take your time, and if you do, you might just be rewarded with a story that will stay with you for life. This book is worth you time. I can’t promise you’ll like it, but if you read it with an open mind, I think there is much to appreciate about this story.

For a more in depth conversation on Beloved, check out The Stacks Book Club episode with DaMaris B. Hill where we discuss the themes, characters, and social implications of this story.

  • Paperack: 275
  • PublisherPlume (October 1 , 1998)
  • 3/5 stars
  • Buy Beloved Amazon or IndieBound

To contribute to The Stacks, join The Stacks Pack, and get exclusive perks, check out our Patreon page (https://www.patreon.com/thestacks). We are beyond grateful for anything you’re able to give to support the production of The Stacks.

The Stacks participates in affiliate programs in which we receive a small commission when products are purchased through some links on this website. This does not effect opinions on books and products. For more information click here.

A Bound Woman Is a Dangerous Thing: The Incarceration of African American Women from Harriet Tubman to Sandra Bland by DaMaris B. Hill

The Stacks received A Bound Woman is a Dangerous Thing from the publisher. For more information click here.

In her collection of poetry that covers the history of incarceration of Black women in America, DaMaris Hill crafts poems that highlight the pain of being a Black woman and the undeniable strength that comes along with it. She tells of some of the most famous women of the Diaspora as well as many women whose stories were nearly lost to history.

Throughout the book, Hill connects her poems to the history of the women’s lives through prose. I found these introductions to be extremely helpful in contextualizing her poetry. While I didn’t always connect with the poems, I was able to understand the stories being told which enhanced my experience. Poetry can be so personal, having the historical details allowed me to have thoughts about the work even if the poem didn’t speak to me.

Not all the women in the book are famous women. One section of A Bound Woman is a Dangerous Thing focuses on women from another book, Colored Amazons by Kali N. Gross. These women, have also been incarcerated, victimized, abused and in some cases killed, like their more famous counterparts in this book. They serve as a reminder that not only Harriet Tubman or Assata Shakur have had their humanity stolen away, but rather that their more notorious incarcerations are part of a long line of locking away Black women.

If the struggle and power of Black women interests you, this is a book for you. If you are working on reading more poetry, this is a great place to start, especially because the context Hill gives her readers allows for more understanding. Certainly parts of this book are a challenge to read, don’t shy away from that. The emotional responses are intentionally evoked by Hill. The discomfort is part of the story.

Listen to DaMaris B. Hill discuss this book, and much more on The Stacks

  • Hardcover: 192
  • PublisherBloomsbury Publishing (January 15, 2019)
  • 3/5 stars
  • Buy A Bound Woman is a Dangerous Thing Amazon or IndieBound

To contribute to The Stacks, join The Stacks Pack, and get exclusive perks, check out our Patreon page (https://www.patreon.com/thestacks). We are beyond grateful for anything you’re able to give to support the production of The Stacks.

The Stacks participates in affiliate programs in which we receive a small commission when products are purchased through some links on this website. This does not effect opinions on books and products. For more information click here.

What Doesn’t Kill You Makes You Blacker: A Memoir in Essays by Damon Young

The Stacks received What Doesn’t Kill You Makes You Blacker from the publisher. For more information click here.

Damon Young is known for bringing his authentic voice to his work. He is funny, he is observant, he is smart, he is Pittsburgh, and he is Black. All of this can be said as well, for his new book What Doesn’t Kill You Makes You Blacker. Young takes apart his life and reconstructs the most important and formative stories, people, and ideas into essays. And instead of telling us all the whats in his life, he is clear that he wants to show us the whys. We get glimpses of what it means for Young to be alive as a Black man in America in 2019. He shares his anxieties, insecurities, victories, and tragedies with us.

There are four essays in this book that really stand out. They all engage with Young and his relationship to women in some way. Weather it be the health care system and his mother, his unconventional love story with his wife, the hopes he holds for his daughter, or his own reckoning with the kind of man he once was in the face of Rape Culture, Young is grappling with his humanity in relationship to those around him and society at large. Thus, these essays take on an urgency that isn’t found elsewhere in the book. You can sense Young’s anxiety around diving so deep, and luck for us he writes these essays anyway, because they are truly impactful.

The other essays in What Doesn’t Kill You Makes You Blacker cover a variety of topics from Black anxiety, use of “n-word”, homophobia, and gentrification. These essays are solid but don’t always strike the same thrilling balance between humor, insight, and vulnerability that are present in the above mentioned essays.

Damon Young is powerful voice in Black culture, as the co-founder of Very Smart Brothas and Senior Editor at The Root, and he is a voice that is unpretentious and relatable. He is speaking of his own experiences and observations inn this book, and because of his ability to articulate the whys behind so much of his life you leave the reading experience with a lot to digest. I don’t know that this book changes your life, but I do think it will make you stop and reflect about how you can live a little better.

We had Damon Young on The Short Stacks and he talked all about What Doesn’t Kill You Makes You Blacker and you can hear that conversation by clicking HERE. He drops so many gems throughout the episode, you won’t want to miss it.

The Short Stacks 12: Damon Young//What Doesn’t Kill You Makes You Blacker

  • Hardcover: 320
  • PublisherEcco; 1st Edition edition (March 26, 2019)
  • 3/5 stars
  • Buy What Doesn’t Kill You Makes You Blacker Amazon or IndieBound

To contribute to The Stacks, join The Stacks Pack, and get exclusive perks, check out our Patreon page (https://www.patreon.com/thestacks). We are beyond grateful for anything you’re able to give to support the production of The Stacks.

The Stacks participates in affiliate programs in which we receive a small commission when products are purchased through some links on this website. This does not effect opinions on books and products. For more information click here.

Richard II by William Shakespeare

William Shakespeare wrote ten of plays that are fictionalized accounts of real events and people, they are called the “History Plays” and are similar to how we today would watch a biopic. The story is based on truth, but dramatizes and imagines the story in a new (and hopefully) entertaining way. Richard II is one of those History Plays and is the first part in the eight play series that includes Richard II, HenryIV (both parts), Henry V, Henry VI (all three parts), and Richard III.

My expectations were very low for Richard II. I had seen a production years ago in New York City and found it to be very boring, however in reading the play I was thoroughly entertained. To be fair, it is a play about politics and legitimacy of governance. It is a dramatization of a theoretical conversation around who can and should rule the people. Which is to say, it is a lot of talk and not so much action, though the opening scene and the final two acts are pretty engaging. The middle of the play does drag a little, but overall I was engaged.

The language in Richard II is readable, even if Shakespeare is challenging for you, this one is pretty approachable. The characters are straight forward and tell you what they are thinking and planning. The plot is very linear, without the interruption of comedic scenes. Shakespeare utilizes language as a way to differentiate the characters. Richard, speeches are long and languid, he is eloquent and paints pictures of his one psyche through his verse. Bolingbroke is direct in his language, almost polished, and very direct.

If you like reading Shakespeare, I think this is a solid play that leaves the reader with a lot to think about. Its not the greatest ever, but after reading it, I think it is overlooked without reason. Richard II, was a reminder of why I started my #ShakeTheStacks Challenge, so that I could revisit old favorites and find new ones.

If you want more on Richard II I suggest checking out the Lend Me Your Ears podcast hosted by Isaac Butler (hear him on The Short Stacks), who you might know as co-author of TSBC pick, The World Only Spins Forward (listen to the conversation). The podcast takes on six of Shakespeare plays and connects them with current social and political issues.The episode on Richard II is fantastic, especially as a companion piece to reading the play.

Next month for #ShakeTheStacks Challenge, I’ll be reading A Midsummer Night’s Dream

  • Paperback: 160 pages
  • Publisher: Penguin Classics; Reprint edition (December 1, 2000)
  • 3/5 stars
  • Buy Richard II on Amazon or IndieBound

To contribute to The Stacks, join The Stacks Pack, and get exclusive perks, check out our Patreon page (https://www.patreon.com/thestacks). We are beyond grateful for anything you’re able to give to support the production of The Stacks.

The Stacks participates in affiliate programs in which we receive a small commission when products are purchased through some links on this website. This does not effect my opinions on books and products. For more information click here.

Wild Beauty: New and Selected Poems by Ntozke Shange

Wild Beauty is a compilation of poetry from one of America’s most iconic poets, Ntozake Shange. These poems span decades of her work, from her first choreopoem For Colored Girls Who Have Considered Suicide When the Rainbow is Enuf through to previously unpublished poems that deal with modern events like The Pulse Nightclub Shooting. Shange’s themes of beauty, home, pain, empowerment, joy, and the African Diaspora are all present throughout the book.

Wild Beauty is one of my first attempts at reading a collection of poetry, and I’m glad that I was able to read this book in conjunction with The Stacks Book Club with author, poet and performance artist, Gabrielle Civil. We talk about the anxieties around reading poetry and what makes a poem “good” and what it means to “get it”. All of which I found truly helpful in my own journey into reading poetry.

My biggest take away from our conversation and this book, is that I like poems that are referential to events and people. I like to know the context of the poem. I respond to poems that tell stories and engage with history and the world as I have seen it. Those poems exist in this book, poems like “Crack Annie”, “Dressing Our Wounds in Warm Clothes”, and “Ode to Orlando” all stuck with me because I was able to find common experience and understanding with Shange.

I didn’t like every poem in this book. Many were hard to get through or engage with. Sometimes that was because the phonetic spelling Shange uses through out her work, was distracting at times, though at other times it was powerful. (I should also note each poem in this collection was translated into Spanish as well). Sometimes I couldn’t figure out where Shange was coming from. I’ve learned, that that is totally ok. I’ve learned that just because a poem doesn’t work for me in the moment doesn’t mean it won’t work for me in a year. I also learned, that just because I don’t like a poem doesn’t mean there is anything wrong with me or the poem. We’re just in two different places.

I don’t know that I can recommend any book of poetry to anyone. It seems to me to be very personal. Though, I do know I recommend you check out my conversation with Gabrielle, as it is useful to anyone who loves poetry, or anyone who is hoping to add poetry to their reading life.

Hear Gabrielle Civil on The Stacks and then hear Gabrielle discussing poetry and Wild Beauty for The Stacks Book Club

  • Hardcover: 288
  • Publisher37 Ink; Bilingual edition (November 14, 2017)
  • 3/5 stars
  • Buy Wild Beauty Amazon or IndieBound

To contribute to The Stacks, join The Stacks Pack, and get exclusive perks, check out our Patreon page (https://www.patreon.com/thestacks). We are beyond grateful for anything you’re able to give to support the production of The Stacks.

The Stacks participates in affiliate programs in which we receive a small commission when products are purchased through some links on this website. This does not effect opinions on books and products. For more information click here.

Women Talking by Miriam Toews

The Stacks received Women Talking from the publisher. For more information click here.

Women Talking is just that, a book about women talking, it is also so much more. Between 2005-2009 women in a Mennonite community in Bolivia were drugged and raped by a group of men in their colony, Women Talking is inspired by these events, and imagines a secret meeting between eight women and one man (their note taker, and our narrator) in a barn on the colony where they debate their options. Do they stay and fight or leave their home?

What is remarkable about this book is Toews’ ability to present multiple nuanced arguments for both staying and leaving, and never fully force us to pick one. She allows her reader space to understand the many sides without asking us to make the ultimate value judgement on what is right and wrong. What is the thing that must be done. Which, in a piece about rape and violation, seems like the most obvious choice, but going against that impulse is what keeps Women Talking interesting instead of predictable. She gives her characters the contradiction we so often resist in ourselves and those around us. She gives her characters the permission to be right and wrong in the same breath.

Toews is a professional writer, and it shows in the book. Her use of craft and nuance and the patience within the story make for an emotional (if not anxious) read. You’re never quite sure where she is taking you. She infuses Women Talking with the humor that is real and truthful in the face of trauma, but she does not shy away from the brutal unexpected pain that is also true when one is faced with the realization that they never have been, nor never will be safe. She complicates all of this by giving us a male narrator who is non-threat to the women. He is an interpreter for us and for the women, it is a layer that is practical and provoking.

Women Talking feels like a long conversation, a debate, a back and forth that never fully settles. Mostly this feels intentional, but there is a part of the book that feels safe in the unanswerable questions. Toews allows her readers to come to their own thoughts, but that also allows the reader to hide in their own biases. It is easy to be on the side of the women in the story, and it is easy to say these acts are heinous, but there is never a true call to respond, there is never a true call to react. Women Talking lacks the potency to make a point that feels somewhere out of reach. I am not sure what the take away from this story was, perhaps just that pain is part of life and we must carry on and find the joy in these things. Or maybe, that we all have the power to make choices for ourselves. These messages are true, but not particularly potent or urgent in this moment, or in the scope of the story.

Overall I enjoyed reading this book though I felt slightly underwhelmed when it was all said and done. I loved reading Toews’ story and her thinking and sensing her mulling over the questions she was asking through her characters. I’m not sure if she, or we, or they, every get to the answers, and perhaps none of us ever will.

Click here to hear Miriam Toews on The Short Stacks discussing Women Talking and more.

  • Hardcover: 240
  • PublisherBloomsbury Publishing (April 2, 2019)
  • 3/5 stars
  • Buy Women Talking Amazon or IndieBound

To contribute to The Stacks, join The Stacks Pack, and get exclusive perks, check out our Patreon page (https://www.patreon.com/thestacks). We are beyond grateful for anything you’re able to give to support the production of The Stacks.

The Stacks participates in affiliate programs in which we receive a small commission when products are purchased through some links on this website. This does not effect opinions on books and products. For more information click here.

Experiments in Joy by Gabrielle Civil

The Stacks received Experiments in Joy from the publisher. For more information click here.

To be perfectly honest I’d never heard of a performance memoir before I read Experiments in Joy, the second book by author and artist Gabrielle Civil. I was only nudged to pick up this book after booking Civil as a guest on The Stacks. In the case of Experiments in Joy, a performance memoir is a mix of letters, conversations, performance notes, photos, stage directions, criticism, and poetry to tell a fractured story of Civil’s life as an artist. It covers a handful of her performance pieces and gives them a fuller context than simply seeing the piece live.

I’ve never read anything like this book, and as a reader I oscillated between enjoying Civil’s process and being annoyed at having to read descriptions of things I would much rather be watching. The how of these pieces coming together was much more interesting to me than the actual what (think excerpts of scripts) that was sprinkled through out.

Civil is very honest and open with her audience, allowing us to read intimate letters from past collaborators and lovers. She shares insecurities in her own work and confronts her process head on. She also shares her joy and anxieties, her successes and reflections.You get to know her, and like her, through her process. This isn’t the kind of memoir where you hear about Civil’s childhood (at least not too much). It is more a memoir of the work itself as opposed to the person, though those things become inextricably linked when dealing with performance art.

Like in a collection of poems, some sections resonated with me and sparked interest, others were mere blips on my radar as I read toward the end of the book. I think that is ok. It doesn’t all have to land, and the sections can be read alone or in the context of the entire book.

If you’re an artist or someone who likes to grapple with the art of creation this book might spark something in you. If you’ve heard Gabrielle on The Stacks, you might likewise be intrigued to read this book. Hearing her speak about this book, and her first book Swallow the Fish, made me understand her work and the genre of Performance Memoir a lot better.

  • Paperback: 276
  • PublisherCivil Coping Mechanisms (February 15, 2019)
  • 3/5 stars
  • Buy Experiments in Joy Amazon or IndieBound

To contribute to The Stacks, join The Stacks Pack, and get exclusive perks, check out our Patreon page (https://www.patreon.com/thestacks). We are beyond grateful for anything you’re able to give to support the production of The Stacks.

The Stacks participates in affiliate programs in which we receive a small commission when products are purchased through some links on this website. This does not effect opinions on books and products. For more information click here.

If You’re In My Office, It’s Already Too Late: A Divorce Lawyer’s Guide to Staying Together by James J. Sexton, Esq.

The Stacks received If You’re In My Office, It’s Already Too Late from the publisher in exchange for an honest review. For more information click here.

In his how-not-to book about marriage, James Sexton gives us a load of relationship advice from the vantage point of a man that has seen a whole lot of marriages fail. Sexton has been litigating divorces for over twenty years, and according to him, he has seen it all. He shares his advice, observations, and a few funny stories in his book, If You’re In My Office, It’s Already Too Late.

Sexton finds a way to keep this book engaging by never settling into a pattern with his advice and keeping it light (for the most part) and funny. He understands the task at hand and the expected form of the book, and plays into the genre perfectly. He also gives us juicy antidotes about people’s affairs, sexual fetishes, grocery shopping, and one crushing story about an abusive pimp. Like I said, Sexton has seen it all, and he has no problem sharing it with his readers.

Some advice in this book is basic, and common, and what you hear from every relationship expert ever. Suggestions like, listen to your partner, pay attention to your partner, communicate with your partner, show up for your partner. All of that is in this book. Of course you get that in this book and any book on marriage, but Sexton does liven things up a bit. He contributes advice like, splitting custody of your kids even when you’re happily married, having your money in “yours”, “mine”, and “ours” accounts, embracing a diverse sex life. He also suggests you treat your marriage like the only car you’ll ever have for the rest of your life, so what are you buying? And how often are you changing the oil and getting the brakes checked?

As I was reading, I sometimes felt like Sexton was over simplifying complex human emotions and interactions. Obviously he sees marriages in the final stages where a lot is on the line (custody, finances, housinng, etc.) and this amplifies any understanding of marriage (just as death can amplify any understanding of life). That isn’t to say he is wrong, it is just to say his advice comes from a very particular point of view, lacking any insight on how to be married “right”. It is all deductive reasoning. If this failed in one marriage, do the opposite and you’re all set. I’m not sure marriage is so simple as Sexton implies. He might be right, but he also may not be. Just because we agree something isn’t white, doesn’t mean it’s black.

If you’re looking for an easy read about relationships from a point of view you might not always consider, you should check out this book. It is an enjoyable read, and though I wouldn’t stake my marriage on it, it did help me look at things I do with my husband and think, I could certainly be a better partner in these ways. It was worth my time, and I’m glad to have read it.

Click to hear James Sexton on The Stacks talking about If You’re in My Office, It’s Already Too Late and more.


To contribute to The Stacks, join The Stacks Pack, and get exclusive perks, check out our Patreon page (https://www.patreon.com/thestacks). We are beyond grateful for anything you’re able to give to support the production of The Stacks.

The Stacks participates in affiliate programs in which we receive a small commission when products are purchased through some links on this website. This does not effect opinions on books and products. For more information click here.